[ Were he capable of having two hands to reel it in, he might feel the need to be smug about it. But Joonghyuk is left to help him (even if in the sore loser manner.)
Once the fish is successfully reeled in, he does preen himself a bit. At least Jin is puffed up with her head held high. Yes. ]
[ Your thoughts start to travel. It starts to drift. Everything was so difficult growing up. After all, when you were a child... things weren't good for you growing up.
When you blink, you're peering up at your mother, hiding slightly behind her as you tremble... as you shake. You're afraid. Looking at her, you can see the ever daily bruises marking her skin, and yet she still protects you, especially when you sport the same kind of bruises. Across from you both is y̶̦̻̐͒̍͐̄̅o̸̧̯̥̊̂̿̓̄͊̑̾ṵ̴̧̪̹̱͕̖̘̠̳͓̥̿͌̇͐̇̂̂́̊̀̒̂̕͠r̷̡̧͔̮̳̹̪̫̓͆͋̒̀͌̕͝ ̷̨̖̻͈̜̓̍ͅf̸̧̢̫̪̭̟͈̲̃̋a̶̙͔͓̞͚̳̦̱͜͝ţ̷̫̝̩̬̮̼̬̻̺͛̆̌̐̓̾̓̀͋̕h̵̛̝̺̰͕̱͚͓̠̠̓͛̈́̒̀̎͊̕ȩ̵̧̝͎͙͍̯̲̖͆r̶͚̖̬̝͎͚͚̺̠̄̐̀͆͌͊̉̓̎̐̒̀̇͝.
It's hard to make out his face, you're afraid, you're afraid, it's another bad day. It's an endless cycle, even if she tries to take the brunt of it... you can feel yourself slipping away. You need to stop this.
Someone like that doesn't deserve to live.
You both can't keep living like this. You have to.... you have to-
Your thoughts are a mess. You can't think. Everything happens so fast as if someone fast-forwarded your life just a bit- what's going on? Where are you?
Your mother is kneeling in front of you, face full of worry and she's trying to keep you steady. ]
Don't worry, Dokja-ya. I'll protect you.
[ Blood. There's blood. Some of it is on her, but not as much as you. You're covered in it. You're only a child, but you had to. Behind her, someone is laying there, a pool of blood beneath him. You know it's y̶̦̻̐͒̍͐̄̅o̸̧̯̥̊̂̿̓̄͊̑̾ṵ̴̧̪̹̱͕̖̘̠̳͓̥̿͌̇͐̇̂̂́̊̀̒̂̕͠r̷̡̧͔̮̳̹̪̫̓͆͋̒̀͌̕͝ ̷̨̖̻͈̜̓̍ͅf̸̧̢̫̪̭̟͈̲̃̋a̶̙͔͓̞͚̳̦̱͜͝ţ̷̫̝̩̬̮̼̬̻̺͛̆̌̐̓̾̓̀͋̕h̵̛̝̺̰͕̱͚͓̠̠̓͛̈́̒̀̎͊̕ȩ̵̧̝͎͙͍̯̲̖͆r̶͚̖̬̝͎͚͚̺̠̄̐̀͆͌͊̉̓̎̐̒̀̇͝.
There's panic in your chest, your heart racing so rapidly. You can't breathe, your mother holds your face and asks you to focus on her. You don't hear it, but she tries to steady you. ]
Give me the knife.
[ The light gleams off the blade in your small hands, bloodied and there's red everywhere and your mother just asks you to trust her, that everything will be okay.
Everything goes black. And the memory starts to fade as if it's being locked away, becoming fuzzy until you don't remember it anymore.
It's almost as if whatever happened.. didn't.
For some reason, all you remember is your mother being taken away.
You can hear your relatives talking; your mother is a murderer. How dare she slip her face into the newspapers?
There was a book about it. How she murdered your father.
Day and day again, news reporters hound, is the essay true? Did she really kill him? They ask again. And again.
Classmates would spit at you, they would kick you when you're down, and hurt you, but words you find hurt more; your mother made money by murdering. You're the son of a murderer.
You could bear to be the child of a murderer. However, it is different to be sold as a story. It is a different matter when your life was turned into money by someone.
You hated her for it. Should you forgive her?
And yet, it's as if you're remembering.
She didn't do it though. You know who did it. You forgot, shoved the memory so far away you forgot the truth.
But not her.
A mother will protect her child, no matter what.
Your eyes close again, and now you don't know what to feel anymore. ]
[ And immediately, Dokja is throwing up from the overwhelming emotions spinning in his head as he falls onto his knees and one hand that barely catches him from falling face first.
[ Gods, please don't pity him. Someone like him does not deserve pity. What he's gone through is so little in comparison to what anyone else- to what Yoo Joonghyuk has gone through. How many times will this week bring him to his knees? He has nothing else to throw up, so he's left puffing for breath and he at least listens to that. Breathe in, breathe out.
His daemon's earlier confidence is gone, instead she's pressed herself to the ground in a heap of shaking white fur. Emitting short, whiny sounds and seems defensive- as if trying to protect herself against something. ]
The sooner we leave this city, the better. [ Ugh. His vision is still spinning a bit so give him a moment or two. ]
[ He's going to try his best here, to hopefully get Dokja to understand. Now that he knows how the other man feels with this link that opened up a door he never would have had, he tries his best to use words. It's the advice that Han Sooyoung always threw at them... To communicate.
Niah whines a bit, tail swishing, but then it touches some glass.
Your name is Yoo Joonghyuk. You are twenty-eight, a professional Esports player, and you're on your way to pick up your younger sister, Yoo Mia. It is busy on the subway, as it always is in Seoul. You're used to it and keep your eyes on your smartphone... Looking up the report the private investigator you hired has finally sent you. Your heart stills, shudders, and there's unease and anticipation as you stare at the file.
You have always wondered why you can't remember anything before twenty-eight. No memories of parents. No memories of childhood. Nothing. It's as if your life began at this age, as if your life started as an adult.
You have always wondered why someone randomly gave you an Esports job despite not having that much experience before. You have always wondered why you're good at it. You have always wondered how an infant, your little sister Yoo Mia, appeared at your doorsteps with a note claiming she's your sister. Everything about your life fell into place like written script. Some things aren't needed in a backstory and that is the only way you can possibly digest how strange it all is.
But you want clear answers.
Finally, you open the report and the investigator's results validated the disquiet. Your parents—if you had any—cannot be found. They might not even exist.
What is this? What is happening? How is this possible?
What are you? Who are you?
He ignores it, since he has already found his answer. ]
[ There's patience from his companion, easing his words, trying to level himself and yet here Dokja strongly believes himself undeserving. Eventually, he'll repay that favor. Eventually, he'll bring them the true happy end that they deserve. Eventually, he will do whatever is in his power to secure it. And maybe, just maybe he'll be there, and if he isn't... then that's fine too.
Even if deep down, he wants to be there. ...If it's them, he believes they can do it though. However, other than that lingering feeling of belief, that fading pain and overwhelming suffocation... he focuses on recomposing himself. Not that it's quick enough for Jin, who starts to chew at herself to get rid of that terrible feeling.
However, it lessens as they seem to get distracted by that new memory. It... sounds like the beginning. Has he ever read what Yoo Joonghyuk's life was before? Round 0? He shakes his head, moving to sit and sigh out. ]
I'm fine now. [ Sorry, he bites back, thanks, he can't bring himself to say. ] ..We still need one more fish, right?
[ Stubborn is what Dokja is. However, a distraction is good, even as he tries to shuffle back to his earlier spot. Jin stops her frustrated biting to (gently) body slam into Niah. She's tired. ]
..Won't you be preparing it? [ I rolled for fun and it's a 5, so he scares the fish away from himself from throwing the line a bit too harshly. So much for that. ]
Yes, but I would be preparing it how I want to. If you have a preference, you would need to cook it yourself.
[ As usual, his words are harsh, even if there are double meanings in all of it… He keeps his eyes on the line while Niah buries his muzzle into Jin for a moment. Then he’s back to lounging normally.
Dokja’s past plays in his mind… It isn’t the first time he has heard about it, but it’s always different to see it or hear it from the person.
This case, involuntarily. He doesn’t say anything, but he sees that they’ve always been lonely existences. ]
[ It's fine, Dokja actually prefers the familiarity of that harshness. Even when his own voice manages to pick up a familiar tease. Jin seems to relax more as time goes on, especially with the brief comfort. She even seems as if to drift off as she curls up.
Since roll was bad and he won't have any luck on getting fish, he abandons his fishing pole and instead turns and- props right against Joonghyuk. Yes, he's leaning against his companion without warning. If Joonghyuk starts to slouch from the weight or shift even slightly, Dokja will point it out.
He's already seen his own hell in the face, what's a bit more? It works as a distraction. ] So? How are you going to prepare it?
[ Dokja has never leaned against him ever unless he was unconscious or unable to move whatsoever. Sure, he has broken ribs and a sprained arm, but. That doesn't mean Dokja would lean on him. ]
What are you doing?
[ There's some confusion, though no annoyance. He focuses on the fishing line. ]
[ Instead of looking at him, Dokja just looks up at the sky and for the most part seems nonchalant. However, his nerves haven't settled completely since the memories, and.. this helps. Just a little. He isn't used to seeking any kind of physical touch. Maybe if the kids were here they'd hug him, he'd pat their heads to reassure, and it would anchor him enough.
So, he focuses on the next thing, leaning here against his companion. If mostly just to be obnoxious with him. ]
I'm taking it easy. Didn't you want me to relax? [ Jin emits a muffled foxy laugh, tail wagging. ]
That will be the main method. How I season it you'll have to see.
[ Cooking can somehow be methodical and also whimsical, which is something he doesn't think Dokja would understand? That emotion goes through, childish and domineering.
When Dokja says he can relax, he goes quiet. There's some confusion still there yet contentment. He will accept it, though Niah bites Jin's tail as retaliation. ]
Did you really have no one to depend on after that?
[ Yes, that is his Yoo Joonghyuk voice. Still, it's a funny reaction coming from his companion. He's used to reading, hearing his thoughts, but these feelings...
... A quiet breath escapes him, eyes coming to a close. He needs to think about it. Jin squeaks and immediately lunges at Niah, trying to bite his muzzle but it's halfhearted. ]
Who could I even have? My relatives didn't care. The money may as well have been theirs to begin with, that's all they cared about. They shunned us. [ Neglected. ] My classmates were warned by their parents, and if they didn't stay away.. well. [ Bullies. There's still some leftover bitterness, but most of all... he had nothing. Had no one. A world like that, there was nothing worth living for. ] Not until I came across your story.
[ "I am Yoo Joonghyuk." If he believed in that, he felt he could be strong enough to face any hell his dark world threw at him. ]
Those fish need to hurry up and bite already. Dokja is already getting a bit antsy. ]
Yeah. [ Right. Survived. Because of that story, his poor pathetic life was saved. Even so, there's only contentment, love and appreciation towards that story. ] Not much of an interesting story on its own.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I will have to see what I roll next, but Joonghyuk looks smug? And Dokja can feel it. ]
You have to be careful where and how you cast your line.
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[ Smug bastard. Anyways, I also rolled a 12 which means some fish are also gathering around Dokja's line. Looking good so far.
Now, who will be able to reel in first? ]
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So he eyes Dokja’s line to see. ]
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..It's a bit harder with one arm. ]
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The emotions are ugh. Stupid. Also sore loser vibes. ]
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Once the fish is successfully reeled in, he does preen himself a bit. At least Jin is puffed up with her head held high. Yes. ]
Well, there's one.
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AS IF DOKJA CAN'T COUNT: ]
We are two people.
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Yeah, and?
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[ Suddenly it is his responsibility? Because he's the lucky one? ]
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[ Dokja shoots him a look, setting their freshly caught fish away and moving to try and replace his bait.
However, here comes bad timing. In his attempt does he accidentally step on some glass that was hidden. And to be expected, the music starts.
[ Your thoughts start to travel. It starts to drift. Everything was so difficult growing up. After all, when you were a child... things weren't good for you growing up.
When you blink, you're peering up at your mother, hiding slightly behind her as you tremble... as you shake. You're afraid. Looking at her, you can see the ever daily bruises marking her skin, and yet she still protects you, especially when you sport the same kind of bruises. Across from you both is y̶̦̻̐͒̍͐̄̅o̸̧̯̥̊̂̿̓̄͊̑̾ṵ̴̧̪̹̱͕̖̘̠̳͓̥̿͌̇͐̇̂̂́̊̀̒̂̕͠r̷̡̧͔̮̳̹̪̫̓͆͋̒̀͌̕͝ ̷̨̖̻͈̜̓̍ͅf̸̧̢̫̪̭̟͈̲̃̋a̶̙͔͓̞͚̳̦̱͜͝ţ̷̫̝̩̬̮̼̬̻̺͛̆̌̐̓̾̓̀͋̕h̵̛̝̺̰͕̱͚͓̠̠̓͛̈́̒̀̎͊̕ȩ̵̧̝͎͙͍̯̲̖͆r̶͚̖̬̝͎͚͚̺̠̄̐̀͆͌͊̉̓̎̐̒̀̇͝.
It's hard to make out his face, you're afraid, you're afraid, it's another bad day. It's an endless cycle, even if she tries to take the brunt of it... you can feel yourself slipping away. You need to stop this.
Someone like that doesn't deserve to live.
You both can't keep living like this. You have to.... you have to-
Your thoughts are a mess. You can't think. Everything happens so fast as if someone fast-forwarded your life just a bit- what's going on? Where are you?
Your mother is kneeling in front of you, face full of worry and she's trying to keep you steady. ]
Don't worry, Dokja-ya. I'll protect you.
[ Blood. There's blood. Some of it is on her, but not as much as you. You're covered in it. You're only a child, but you had to. Behind her, someone is laying there, a pool of blood beneath him. You know it's y̶̦̻̐͒̍͐̄̅o̸̧̯̥̊̂̿̓̄͊̑̾ṵ̴̧̪̹̱͕̖̘̠̳͓̥̿͌̇͐̇̂̂́̊̀̒̂̕͠r̷̡̧͔̮̳̹̪̫̓͆͋̒̀͌̕͝ ̷̨̖̻͈̜̓̍ͅf̸̧̢̫̪̭̟͈̲̃̋a̶̙͔͓̞͚̳̦̱͜͝ţ̷̫̝̩̬̮̼̬̻̺͛̆̌̐̓̾̓̀͋̕h̵̛̝̺̰͕̱͚͓̠̠̓͛̈́̒̀̎͊̕ȩ̵̧̝͎͙͍̯̲̖͆r̶͚̖̬̝͎͚͚̺̠̄̐̀͆͌͊̉̓̎̐̒̀̇͝.
There's panic in your chest, your heart racing so rapidly. You can't breathe, your mother holds your face and asks you to focus on her. You don't hear it, but she tries to steady you. ]
Give me the knife.
[ The light gleams off the blade in your small hands, bloodied and there's red everywhere and your mother just asks you to trust her, that everything will be okay.
Everything goes black. And the memory starts to fade as if it's being locked away, becoming fuzzy until you don't remember it anymore.
It's almost as if whatever happened.. didn't.
For some reason, all you remember is your mother being taken away.
You can hear your relatives talking; your mother is a murderer. How dare she slip her face into the newspapers?
There was a book about it. How she murdered your father.
Day and day again, news reporters hound, is the essay true? Did she really kill him? They ask again. And again.
Classmates would spit at you, they would kick you when you're down, and hurt you, but words you find hurt more; your mother made money by murdering. You're the son of a murderer.
You could bear to be the child of a murderer. However, it is different to be sold as a story. It is a different matter when your life was turned into money by someone.
You hated her for it. Should you forgive her?
And yet, it's as if you're remembering.
She didn't do it though. You know who did it. You forgot, shoved the memory so far away you forgot the truth.
But not her.
A mother will protect her child, no matter what.
Your eyes close again, and now you don't know what to feel anymore. ]
[ And immediately, Dokja is throwing up from the overwhelming emotions spinning in his head as he falls onto his knees and one hand that barely catches him from falling face first.
Ugh. ]
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Oh, oh, no. Joonghyuk, again, is quick to support him... Though in this situation, he can only kneel down next to him with a hand on his back. ]
Kim Dokja. Breathe.
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His daemon's earlier confidence is gone, instead she's pressed herself to the ground in a heap of shaking white fur. Emitting short, whiny sounds and seems defensive- as if trying to protect herself against something. ]
The sooner we leave this city, the better. [ Ugh. His vision is still spinning a bit so give him a moment or two. ]
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[ He's going to try his best here, to hopefully get Dokja to understand. Now that he knows how the other man feels with this link that opened up a door he never would have had, he tries his best to use words. It's the advice that Han Sooyoung always threw at them... To communicate.
Niah whines a bit, tail swishing, but then it touches some glass.He ignores it, since he has already found his answer. ]
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Even if deep down, he wants to be there. ...If it's them, he believes they can do it though. However, other than that lingering feeling of belief, that fading pain and overwhelming suffocation... he focuses on recomposing himself. Not that it's quick enough for Jin, who starts to chew at herself to get rid of that terrible feeling.
However, it lessens as they seem to get distracted by that new memory. It... sounds like the beginning. Has he ever read what Yoo Joonghyuk's life was before? Round 0? He shakes his head, moving to sit and sigh out. ]
I'm fine now. [ Sorry, he bites back, thanks, he can't bring himself to say. ] ..We still need one more fish, right?
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[ He has decided that Dokja is in no position, especially with his broken arm. Joonghyuk casts a line again and it’s the waiting game from here. ]
Try to get yourself together. [ Gives him a distraction. ] Think about how you want to prepare your fish.
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[ Stubborn is what Dokja is. However, a distraction is good, even as he tries to shuffle back to his earlier spot. Jin stops her frustrated biting to (gently) body slam into Niah. She's tired. ]
..Won't you be preparing it? [ I rolled for fun and it's a 5, so he scares the fish away from himself from throwing the line a bit too harshly. So much for that. ]
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[ As usual, his words are harsh, even if there are double meanings in all of it… He keeps his eyes on the line while Niah buries his muzzle into Jin for a moment. Then he’s back to lounging normally.
Dokja’s past plays in his mind… It isn’t the first time he has heard about it, but it’s always different to see it or hear it from the person.
This case, involuntarily. He doesn’t say anything, but he sees that they’ve always been lonely existences. ]
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[ It's fine, Dokja actually prefers the familiarity of that harshness. Even when his own voice manages to pick up a familiar tease. Jin seems to relax more as time goes on, especially with the brief comfort. She even seems as if to drift off as she curls up.
Since roll was bad and he won't have any luck on getting fish, he abandons his fishing pole and instead turns and- props right against Joonghyuk. Yes, he's leaning against his companion without warning. If Joonghyuk starts to slouch from the weight or shift even slightly, Dokja will point it out.
He's already seen his own hell in the face, what's a bit more? It works as a distraction. ] So? How are you going to prepare it?
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[ Dokja has never leaned against him ever unless he was unconscious or unable to move whatsoever. Sure, he has broken ribs and a sprained arm, but. That doesn't mean Dokja would lean on him. ]
What are you doing?
[ There's some confusion, though no annoyance. He focuses on the fishing line. ]
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[ Instead of looking at him, Dokja just looks up at the sky and for the most part seems nonchalant. However, his nerves haven't settled completely since the memories, and.. this helps. Just a little. He isn't used to seeking any kind of physical touch. Maybe if the kids were here they'd hug him, he'd pat their heads to reassure, and it would anchor him enough.
So, he focuses on the next thing, leaning here against his companion. If mostly just to be obnoxious with him. ]
I'm taking it easy. Didn't you want me to relax? [ Jin emits a muffled foxy laugh, tail wagging. ]
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[ Cooking can somehow be methodical and also whimsical, which is something he doesn't think Dokja would understand? That emotion goes through, childish and domineering.
When Dokja says he can relax, he goes quiet. There's some confusion still there yet contentment. He will accept it, though Niah bites Jin's tail as retaliation. ]
Did you really have no one to depend on after that?
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[ Yes, that is his Yoo Joonghyuk voice. Still, it's a funny reaction coming from his companion. He's used to reading, hearing his thoughts, but these feelings...
... A quiet breath escapes him, eyes coming to a close. He needs to think about it. Jin squeaks and immediately lunges at Niah, trying to bite his muzzle but it's halfhearted. ]
Who could I even have? My relatives didn't care. The money may as well have been theirs to begin with, that's all they cared about. They shunned us. [ Neglected. ] My classmates were warned by their parents, and if they didn't stay away.. well. [ Bullies. There's still some leftover bitterness, but most of all... he had nothing. Had no one. A world like that, there was nothing worth living for. ] Not until I came across your story.
[ "I am Yoo Joonghyuk." If he believed in that, he felt he could be strong enough to face any hell his dark world threw at him. ]
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[ HOW! MANY TIMES! MUST HE TELL DOKJA! HE DOESN'T!!
Some fish are gathering at Joonghyuk's line, so he only needs to wait until one is stupid enough to latch on. He listens. ]
And that's how you survived.
[ He remembers this part. Kim Dokja survived for another ten and a bit more years because of his story. ]
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Those fish need to hurry up and bite already. Dokja is already getting a bit antsy. ]
Yeah. [ Right. Survived. Because of that story, his poor pathetic life was saved. Even so, there's only contentment, love and appreciation towards that story. ] Not much of an interesting story on its own.
[ His own story, that is. ]
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The most important part is that you survived, fool.
[ Joonghyuk is confident in what he says and that shows in their emotions. ]
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