[ Despite all of them watching him, knowing, and wishing he would talk to them. Joonghyuk knows it's hard so he doesn't give Dokja too much shit for it.
It also can't stop him from feeling the same hurt inflicted on him, from Dokja, in Dimitri. Having to care for people who keep throwing themselves into harm's way... But at least Dokja, he knows.
... he thinks he knows.
That he doesn't want to die. He wants to come back.
... That's what he said on that train, but then his actions— ]
It's difficult engaging with your trauma. I've had to face plenty of them during the Scenarios.
[ his bully. the trauma of that, of being shoved around.. beaten down. told you're worthless during school when you felt it enough from the family he stayed with.
the trauma of facing his mother again. remembering his childhood, what became of it.
it isn't easy. it's never easy. the fourth wall helped him along but now without it? it's even harder. he never feels strong enough.
even so.. ]
I am, well was... it's a bit hard to be if Biyoo and Mia are at risk.
[ but before this, back home.. it is hard for him to not be happy. even if he has his days where he still feels as if he.. may not deserve it. ]
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[ Despite all of them watching him, knowing, and wishing he would talk to them. Joonghyuk knows it's hard so he doesn't give Dokja too much shit for it.
It also can't stop him from feeling the same hurt inflicted on him, from Dokja, in Dimitri. Having to care for people who keep throwing themselves into harm's way... But at least Dokja, he knows.
... he thinks he knows.
That he doesn't want to die. He wants to come back.
... That's what he said on that train, but then his actions— ]
You two deserve to be happy.
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[ his bully. the trauma of that, of being shoved around.. beaten down. told you're worthless during school when you felt it enough from the family he stayed with.
the trauma of facing his mother again. remembering his childhood, what became of it.
it isn't easy. it's never easy. the fourth wall helped him along but now without it? it's even harder. he never feels strong enough.
even so.. ]
I am, well was... it's a bit hard to be if Biyoo and Mia are at risk.
[ but before this, back home.. it is hard for him to not be happy. even if he has his days where he still feels as if he.. may not deserve it. ]
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Absentmindedly, he hopes that it doesn't take the same severity and number of tragedies for happiness to come to Dimitri, too.
(But he can't help and wonder about the future Dokja speaks of.) ]
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..New week tomorrow. Just need to hang in there for a little longer.
[ wraps this thread up unless there is smth else smooches your paw ]