[ One can bet Dokja tries not to think about it. His reaction after he died. Has seen it before, a few times, but he tries not to imagine how he would react to a more recent death.
Jin remains glued to Niah as they make their way to the laundry room, and while they tend to it Dokja is looking to the room briefly before back to Joonghyuk. ]
We'll find a way to bring them back. It's only temporary.
That is true. We had bottles to send letters from nearly the beginning.
[ whereas the mailing room is a recent thing. he reaches to wrap one arm around Joonghyuk's back, leaning against him with head resting on his shoulder. no anxious. ]
No, Hua Cheng even said they are being held a lot stricter than the Watchers ever were. Lending healing every week is probably the extent. [ of help they can truly provide right now. ]
[ he is confident not a single person likes this place. he sounds amused, but his voice is flat. staring off before them as he feels himself still a bit tense. it's hard to stay completely relaxed.
while he has been relieved to be here with joonghyuk, he hates that biyoo and mia both have to be at risk. assuming that is real, that is. when the washer chimes a little does Jin emit a pitched bark in response to it. ]
[ off to his room. gingerly, he takes one of Joonghyuk's hands into his own just to lightly squeeze. it's alright, next week will hopefully be the last of it. ]
[ Despite all of them watching him, knowing, and wishing he would talk to them. Joonghyuk knows it's hard so he doesn't give Dokja too much shit for it.
It also can't stop him from feeling the same hurt inflicted on him, from Dokja, in Dimitri. Having to care for people who keep throwing themselves into harm's way... But at least Dokja, he knows.
... he thinks he knows.
That he doesn't want to die. He wants to come back.
... That's what he said on that train, but then his actions— ]
It's difficult engaging with your trauma. I've had to face plenty of them during the Scenarios.
[ his bully. the trauma of that, of being shoved around.. beaten down. told you're worthless during school when you felt it enough from the family he stayed with.
the trauma of facing his mother again. remembering his childhood, what became of it.
it isn't easy. it's never easy. the fourth wall helped him along but now without it? it's even harder. he never feels strong enough.
even so.. ]
I am, well was... it's a bit hard to be if Biyoo and Mia are at risk.
[ but before this, back home.. it is hard for him to not be happy. even if he has his days where he still feels as if he.. may not deserve it. ]
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Niah is okay. It hasn’t really hit him that the people are gone yet, but he will notice soon enough.
They go to the laundry! They make the laundry. We can pretend it only really got on his coat, so he doesn’t need to take off everything. ]
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Jin remains glued to Niah as they make their way to the laundry room, and while they tend to it Dokja is looking to the room briefly before back to Joonghyuk. ]
We'll find a way to bring them back. It's only temporary.
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[ But Joonghyuk is also impatient? It is going into week 6 and they had their town hall, but there are only some speculations and theories…
Leaning against the wall, he crosses his arms. ]
With the mention of loopholes, I wonder if we should look back to the contract.
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[ remember? so it's fine. it'll be okay. he leans nearby, observing him. while Jin watches the washer running, looking at the clothes spinning. ]
It might be worth looking into. There has to be something.
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[ Joonghyuk is just a naturally anxious person. He has always been rewarded for being paranoid.
Niah also watches the washing machine spin. ]
I imagine the staff even if they wanted to help, won’t be able to imply if we are onto anything.
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[ whereas the mailing room is a recent thing. he reaches to wrap one arm around Joonghyuk's back, leaning against him with head resting on his shoulder. no anxious. ]
No, Hua Cheng even said they are being held a lot stricter than the Watchers ever were. Lending healing every week is probably the extent. [ of help they can truly provide right now. ]
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I hate this hotel.
[ But he can’t deny it has distracted him from the problem waiting for him at home… And that it is the place where he can see Dokja hale and whole.
At the expensive of Mia and Biyoo? He does not like. It’s easier to focus on one emotion and that’s rage. ]
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[ he is confident not a single person likes this place. he sounds amused, but his voice is flat. staring off before them as he feels himself still a bit tense. it's hard to stay completely relaxed.
while he has been relieved to be here with joonghyuk, he hates that biyoo and mia both have to be at risk. assuming that is real, that is. when the washer chimes a little does Jin emit a pitched bark in response to it. ]
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The Nightman is ever present... And I'm sure they know about all of our animosity. They should worry.
[ Have you ever tried to threaten god-like figures? Like... All the time? ]
They will pay.
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[ orvs be like we Will destroy you one way or another.
anyways, the washer dings! it is done. Jin barks at it, jumping. it is drying time. ]
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I'm going to dry it on a line.
[ He isn't going to ruin his coat IN THE DRYING MACHINE. So they can go to his room. ]
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Hm? Oh, got it.
[ off to his room. gingerly, he takes one of Joonghyuk's hands into his own just to lightly squeeze. it's alright, next week will hopefully be the last of it. ]
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Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd was similar to you.
[ In like.
A very
very very specific way. ]
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You can't just point out someone willing to self sacrifice or has depression and say they're similar to me.
[ not every mentally unhealthy person is similar!!! ]
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[ Now he's just being Mean. ]
Not being able to imagine your own happiness is a different type of illness.
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[ rubs niah's ears. ]
I guess so.
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[ Despite all of them watching him, knowing, and wishing he would talk to them. Joonghyuk knows it's hard so he doesn't give Dokja too much shit for it.
It also can't stop him from feeling the same hurt inflicted on him, from Dokja, in Dimitri. Having to care for people who keep throwing themselves into harm's way... But at least Dokja, he knows.
... he thinks he knows.
That he doesn't want to die. He wants to come back.
... That's what he said on that train, but then his actions— ]
You two deserve to be happy.
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[ his bully. the trauma of that, of being shoved around.. beaten down. told you're worthless during school when you felt it enough from the family he stayed with.
the trauma of facing his mother again. remembering his childhood, what became of it.
it isn't easy. it's never easy. the fourth wall helped him along but now without it? it's even harder. he never feels strong enough.
even so.. ]
I am, well was... it's a bit hard to be if Biyoo and Mia are at risk.
[ but before this, back home.. it is hard for him to not be happy. even if he has his days where he still feels as if he.. may not deserve it. ]
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Absentmindedly, he hopes that it doesn't take the same severity and number of tragedies for happiness to come to Dimitri, too.
(But he can't help and wonder about the future Dokja speaks of.) ]
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..New week tomorrow. Just need to hang in there for a little longer.
[ wraps this thread up unless there is smth else smooches your paw ]